Some Ass For Your Desktop

I’ve seen a wide variety of completely extraneous USB peripherals designed to do nothing more than mildly entertain as they suck valuable electricity from your computer’s sparking, sad heart, but I think that things have reached a new pinnacle of bizarre excess when we’ve started to plug wiggling schoolgirl asses into our computing devices.

As spied over on the always entertaining and disturbing J-List, these $18 peripheral devices by Banpresto are simply and accurately translated to ‘USB Shaking Hip’, and currently come in two varieties : pink polka dots, and blue stripes (though I did see other colors elsewhere, if you’re really that particular).

And indeed, as evidenced by this YouTube video, they do shake around in a menacingly inhuman manner. Not even a suggestive gyration here - just a limbless rocking back and forth. I don’t even have any of my usual suggestions about what to pair this with to amplify its unique qualities. Unless, of course, you’re Armin Meiwes.